Answers to some common problems & questions.
I'm thinking of having intercourse for the first time, does it hurt a lot
for the girl?
The first couple of times you have intercourse it might hurt a little, or
you might be sore afterward. If it hurts, tell your partner you want to
stop for a moment. Try again more slowly and gently. Try a different
position, like girl on top. Try using a lubricated latex condom, because
it's slippery and less "rough" than skin. And use a LOT of extra
water-based lube! Remember, the first time is rarely fantastic. It takes
time for us to learn what makes us (and our partners) feel good.
OK, but what if I'm not a virgin and my vagina still hurts when I have
There are lots of possible reasons. Very often there isn't enough "natural"
lubrication (the stuff that makes your vagina wet when you're aroused) to
make intercourse feel good. Buy a water-based lubricant at your drugstore
and put some on and around your vaginal opening and vulva before having
intercourse. Some people are allergic
to the latex in a condom or diaphragm. Sometimes we can be nervous or
scared about sex. That makes it hard for us to enjoy being touched. If
you're uncomfortable, don't rush, and don't let yourself be rushed.
Whatever the cause, if sex hurts, don't put up with the pain! Until the
problem is solved, have sex in other ways besides intercourse.
What if I'm allergic to latex?
If you're allergic or sensitive to latex, you might experience a skin
rash, dry skin, itching, and-in rare cases, welts. People with latex
allergies can use polyurethane condoms for men or polyurethane female
condoms. You can use polyurethane gloves instead of latex ones, and
plastic wrap (like Saran Wrap) instead of latex dental dams.
Another solution to latex allergies is to use two condoms-a latex condom over a lambskin one if the person wearing
the condom is allergic; lambskin over latex if the other person has the
allergy. Be careful when you wear two condoms-put a little bit of lube
between them so they don't break, but not so much lube that the top condom
I'm having a hard time cumming when I have sex with my partner. What can I do?
The best way to learn how to cum is to masturbate by yourself.
Masturbation is fun and educational! Gradually, you will learn what gives
you pleasure so you can let your partner know what you want-and vice-versa.
Don't assume that your partner knows what to do so you can cum. And
remember, most women cum best by rubbing or licking the clit. When you have
sex-any kind of sex, you may or may not cum. There's nothing wrong with
this as long as you feel satisfied.
My vagina hasn't been itself lately. Could I have a vaginal infection?
You can get a vaginal infection even if you're not sexually active. Some
signs of an infection include vaginal itching, irritation, or unusual
discharge (wet spots in your underwear). You should get a pelvic exam at a
clinic to find out what kind of infection you have, and to get the right
Here are ways you can prevent some vaginal infections: Always wear clean
cotton or silk underwear. Change pads and tampons often. Don't use
perfumed vaginal products. Change condoms in between anal and vaginal
intercourse. Pee before and after vaginal intercourse (if you can).
Do I need to douche?
Douching is squirting liquid into your vagina to rinse it out and feel
"clean." But the vagina is already self-cleaning. Studies have found no
benefits from douching. In fact, douching can create infections, as well
as cover up current ones. Don't douche -- you don't need it and it can be
harmful! If you have unusual vaginal discharge (wet spots) or an odor, go
see a health care provider. It could be a sign of a yeast infection or
bacterial vaginosis (BV).
Why do I lose my erection when I fool around with my partner or try to put
on a condom?
This is a VERY common problem that can DEFINITELY be overcome. It's
usually a sign that you're nervous about how you'll "perform," or just
about sex in general. Relax and take the focus off of intercourse for a
while. You might play in other ways. This can be really erotic and
exciting, and you might find your problem solved.
Is my dick too big/small? Is my vagina too big/small?
There is NO SUCH THING as a vagina or a dick that's too big or too small.
By experimenting with different positions and using lots of lube, we can
almost always accommodate our partners and have a good time doing it.
How do I know if I'm Gay/Lesbian/Bi? Is there a test?
No test can tell you if you're bi, lesbian, straight, or gay. You're
the only person who can figure out your own sexuality, based on your physical
and emotional attraction to people. You're also the only one who can decide
which words best describe your sexual identity
I think I might have an STD or something. What should I do?
We are not doctors, and no book or web site alone can tell you whether
or not you've got a sexually transmitted infection. You should listen
to your body, and if you feel something is wrong, go to a health clinic.
You can see a doctor or nurse at a public health clinic without telling
your parents, and it's usually free. Public health clinics are often listed
in the city/county government section of the phone book.
Is masturbation normal? Can I do it too much?
Masturbation is absolutely normal and healthy. Both men and women
do it. You can't do it too much-unless it becomes painful. Masturbation
is totally safe sex and it's a great way to get to know your own body.
Find out what makes you feel good and later show someone else how to give