CPSJustSayYes
blank

Click poster to enlarge

The more we know about sex, the better our choices.

Click here to get CPS posters

troubleshooting

Answers to some common problems & questions.

I'm thinking of having intercourse for the first time, does it hurt a lot for the girl?
The first couple of times you have intercourse it might hurt a little, or you might be sore afterward. If it hurts, tell your partner you want to stop for a moment. Try again more slowly and gently. Try a different position, like girl on top. Try using a lubricated latex condom, because it's slippery and less "rough" than skin. And use a LOT of extra water-based lube! Remember, the first time is rarely fantastic. It takes time for us to learn what makes us (and our partners) feel good.

OK, but what if I'm not a virgin and my vagina still hurts when I have intercourse?
There are lots of possible reasons. Very often there isn't enough "natural" lubrication (the stuff that makes your vagina wet when you're aroused) to make intercourse feel good. Buy a water-based lubricant at your drugstore and put some on and around your vaginal opening and vulva before having intercourse. Some people are allergic to the latex in a condom or diaphragm. Sometimes we can be nervous or scared about sex. That makes it hard for us to enjoy being touched. If you're uncomfortable, don't rush, and don't let yourself be rushed. Whatever the cause, if sex hurts, don't put up with the pain! Until the problem is solved, have sex in other ways besides intercourse.

What if I'm allergic to latex?
If you're allergic or sensitive to latex, you might experience a skin rash, dry skin, itching, and-in rare cases, welts. People with latex allergies can use polyurethane condoms for men or polyurethane female condoms. You can use polyurethane gloves instead of latex ones, and plastic wrap (like Saran Wrap) instead of latex dental dams.

Another solution to latex allergies is to use two condoms-a latex condom over a lambskin one if the person wearing the condom is allergic; lambskin over latex if the other person has the allergy. Be careful when you wear two condoms-put a little bit of lube between them so they don't break, but not so much lube that the top condom slides off. 

I'm having a hard time cumming when I have sex with my partner. What can I do?
The best way to learn how to cum is to masturbate by yourself. Masturbation is fun and educational! Gradually, you will learn what gives you pleasure so you can let your partner know what you want-and vice-versa. Don't assume that your partner knows what to do so you can cum. And remember, most women cum best by rubbing or licking the clit. When you have sex-any kind of sex, you may or may not cum. There's nothing wrong with this as long as you feel satisfied.

My vagina hasn't been itself lately. Could I have a vaginal infection?
You can get a vaginal infection even if you're not sexually active. Some signs of an infection include vaginal itching, irritation, or unusual discharge (wet spots in your underwear). You should get a pelvic exam at a clinic to find out what kind of infection you have, and to get the right treatment.

Here are ways you can prevent some vaginal infections: Always wear clean cotton or silk underwear. Change pads and tampons often. Don't use perfumed vaginal products. Change condoms in between anal and vaginal intercourse. Pee before and after vaginal intercourse (if you can).

Do I need to douche?
Douching is squirting liquid into your vagina to rinse it out and feel "clean." But the vagina is already self-cleaning. Studies have found no benefits from douching. In fact, douching can create infections, as well as cover up current ones. Don't douche -- you don't need it and it can be harmful! If you have unusual vaginal discharge (wet spots) or an odor, go see a health care provider. It could be a sign of a yeast infection or bacterial vaginosis (BV).

Why do I lose my erection when I fool around with my partner or try to put on a condom?
This is a VERY common problem that can DEFINITELY be overcome. It's usually a sign that you're nervous about how you'll "perform," or just about sex in general. Relax and take the focus off of intercourse for a while. You might play in other ways. This can be really erotic and exciting, and you might find your problem solved.

Is my dick too big/small? Is my vagina too big/small?
There is NO SUCH THING as a vagina or a dick that's too big or too small. By experimenting with different positions and using lots of lube, we can almost always accommodate our partners and have a good time doing it.

How do I know if I'm Gay/Lesbian/Bi? Is there a test?
No test can tell you if you're bi, lesbian, straight, or gay. You're the only person who can figure out your own sexuality, based on your physical and emotional attraction to people. You're also the only one who can decide which words best describe your sexual identity

I think I might have an STD or something. What should I do?
We are not doctors, and no book or web site alone can tell you whether or not you've got a sexually transmitted infection. You should listen to your body, and if you feel something is wrong, go to a health clinic. You can see a doctor or nurse at a public health clinic without telling your parents, and it's usually free. Public health clinics are often listed in the city/county government section of the phone book.

Is masturbation normal? Can I do it too much?
Masturbation is absolutely normal and healthy. Both men and women do it. You can't do it too much­-unless it becomes painful. Masturbation is totally safe sex and it's a great way to get to know your own body. Find out what makes you feel good and later show someone else how to give you pleasure.

| < | Contents | > |

for some more answers check the FAQ If sex is so great, why aren't I having any fun?

| JustSayYes | LetsTalk | Resources | TalkBack | Search | Home | Get CPS Stuff |

The Coalition for Positive Sexuality (CPS) is a grassroots, not-for-profit, activist organization. CPS is funded through donations and grants. Please help us to continue providing teens with candid sex education materials, and this website, by making a tax-deductible donation. Email us to find out how to donate.

Copyright © 1997 Coalition for Positive Sexuality