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You probably already have an idea of what things you feel comfortable doing. Now the important thing is to tell your partner about it and find out what they want, too. Getting started is probably the hardest part. Pick a good time, take a deep breath, and just talk about it.

You might find that talking actually turns you on and can help you feel comfortable enough to have a good time no matter what you choose to do.

No matter what you've done or decided before, you always have the right to change your mind. No one can make you do something you don't want to. You always have the right to say no and to have your partner lay off immediately.

No matter what you and your partner agree on doing, you can always be safe. There are lots of things you can do without the help of latex. But for other stuff you're going to need condoms or plastic wrap or gloves or all of them (see Safe Sex). And don't assume your partner knows as much about safe sex as you do. So talk about it.

One guy we know has his own personal rule: he makes sure that the topic has come up and the condom has come out before his zipper comes down. Another friend makes up great safe sex fantasies and tells them to her partners.

The point is, talk about sex! Share what you know with your partner, your friends, and even your parents and teachers if you can.

The Coalition for Positive Sexuality has an online bulletin board called Let's Talk where you can have conversations about sex with other teens and members of CPS. You can ask questions, share your feelings, or just see what other people are writing about.

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talk about sex! take a deep breath, and just talk about it you always have the right to change your mind

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